The Korean Wave or 'Hallyu' is more evident than ever. Korean exports such as K-Dramas, K-Beauty and K-Pop are taking the world by storm, and allowing foreigners to appreciate some of the wonderful things Korea has to offer.
It's usually incredibly positive, and promotes cultural exchange and understanding. But there is a dark side to this that is rearing its ugly head.
There have been many news articles in the last few months on the fetishisation and objectification of Korean men. Many foreign women believe that Korean men are the ideal boyfriend material: well dressed, great skin, handsome, sensitive and protective and caring towards partners.
This comes, of course, from K-Dramas and K-Pop idols, who offer an unrealistic stereotype of the Korean man.
When I first visited Korea I was struck with how many well groomed men there were in Seoul.
It's true that a lot of Korean men take care of themselves in what is a society that values personal appearance highly. This was my impression coming from a country where male beauty products are not at all the norm, and very few men wear make up (and are horrified by the idea).
Trophy Boyfriends
What I find disturbing is the number of foreign women who are desperate to get a Korean boyfriend, as if ethnicity is the only thing that matters. Like some kind of trophy, a Korean boyfriend or husband is considered the ultimate prize by some.
There are a growing number of social media accounts run by Korean/Western couples that seem to be exploiting this by posting about how they came to Korea and met their soulmate etc, selling a chunk of the Korean dream.
I have noticed quite a few western women with Korean boyfriends here, and I make no judgements about their relationships as , as unlike social media couples, I do not know their individual circumstances.
Most of them appear to be students, and as the majority of foreign students in Seoul appear to be female (an indicator of Hallyus' consumer profile), it's logical they should date Koreans.
Recently The Korea Herald has highlighted how many Korean young women are choosing to remain single rather than date Korean men. They have stated that they are not valued as equals, even when they are highly educated, and seen as objects for sex and marriage (I should stress this is the opinions of the interviewees and not something I can comment on!)
This idea of Korean men does not fit with the stereotype of perfection from K-Dramas and K-Pop. It's stating the blatantly obvious, but people are individuals.
Romance Scammers
Everyday I get Instagram messages from men on my Chats_inkorea account, asking to be my 'friend' or telling me they will teach me Korean, or that I am beautiful (clearly not seen my photos).
Whilst I am sure that most of these men are not actually Korean, they are using the stereotype to target women for scams or sex. I saw plenty of this when I worked in law enforcement.
Four women have reached out to me in the past month asking about my opinions on accounts of 'Korean' men they have got involved with. Two of them have given these men money. They have been the victim of romance scammers that are using the pop culture idea of Korean men to extort.
It may seem obvious when you are older, cynical and suspicious (like me), and I will reply with a standard 'fuck off' to these scammers. But if you are vulnerable, lonely or just desperate to get that Korean boyfriend, it is easy to fall victim to it.
If a Korean man that seems too good to be true contacts you and wants to be friends, have a look at who he is following on his account. Often it will be mainly young women.
Also look at when his photos were uploaded. Scammers taking photos from other accounts usually upload them in bulk.
If you are already involved with a guy, ask for a video chat. A genuine person should have no problem with that. If they keep making excuses, chances are they are a scammer, their profile picture isn't real, or they are married.
Korean culture has so much to offer, and Korean people are individuals. We should be embracing the incredible food, music, and potential for travel that the Korean Wave is offering the world.
People should definitely visit Korea and enjoy it!
But consider its people as individuals.
They shouldn't be hunted for their ethnicity and mounted on your wall (or Instagram page) like a trophy.
You know who you are..... :)